Crash’s Soliloquy from Bull Durham, Script Written and Directed by
Ron Shelton
CRASH After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't tryout. Besides-- I don't believe in, Quantum Physics when it comes to matters of the heart...or loins.
ANNIE (challenging him) What do you believe in?
Crash at the door. Annie's question is slightly taunting. He stops, and speaks with both aloofness and passion:
CRASH I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, long foreplay, show tunes, and that the novels of Thomas Pynchon are self-indulgent, overrated crap. (beat) I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe that there oughtta be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro-turf and the designated hitter, I believe in the "sweet spot", voting every election, soft core pornography, chocolate chip cookies, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for 7 days.
ANNIE (breathless) Oh my...
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