Monday, April 18, 2005


Relationship stuff will make you think. Always remember that there's a lesson to be learned.

One thing I've noticed in people who like to think of themselves as non-violent is that they get down on themselves for violent thoughts or behavior, even if it might be justified. Each of us has a "light side" and a "dark side", or in CG Jung's lingo, an angel and a shadow. Each archetypical personality has a shadow. Point being, this is perfectly natural. If we introspect enough, we all run into our demons. Fear's the first, and probably the most damaging, and never really goes away forever. If it's in its place, it keeps us safe and is a good thing to have. If it becomes a fear of something that hasn't happened yet, though, it can create the reality we fear; we get what we focus on.

This doesn’t mean that our mates are necessarily one-to-one mirrors of ourselves. I do think they are actors in our script, and aspects of ourselves in the sense that "whereever I go, I meet myself". Karma is a word that I use here but in a more new-agey way than in Hindu. We each have karmic contracts, or a life outline of things we agreed to work on in this incarnation (more about reincarnation, later, lest I get off track.) We set up energy hooks that attract us to people that will present situations for us to learn from. I wouldn't discount the mirror aspect that others have for us, though. It is possible that we'll naturally perceive in others (or "project" to use the psychological term) that which we deny in ourselves. We get what we focus on, and a projection is a focus of part of ourselves onto the movie screen of reality. So, we get more of it because we are supposed to learn from it. When we learn the lesson, we move on to something else.

Suppose we are in a relationship where the other person is an alcoholic and abusive. Suppose we created "Bubba" in our life to learn to stand up for ourself? Possibly, we needed to learn to acknowledge that dark, violent side that can aid us in self-protection, to balance all that goodness and light? *smiles* The Goddess Athena was the matron of knowledge and reason; she was a warm nurturing mother that encouraged her children to go out there, take risks and succeed. However, she was also sometimes the Goddess of Justice, and if you transgressed and pissed her off, her dark side was ruthless and horrible. All part of the same archetype or BE-ING. Good or bad didn't have anything to do with it. And they don't have anything to do with our dark and light sides, either. They just are. Acknowledge both of them, because they are both YOU.

We all have aggressive desires. Some of us focus on them. We all have passive "allowing" as well. An over-focus on that side can lead us to be victims. There are no victims. There are just choices. And, there is just balance and imbalance. Balance is a state of being. It is not static. It contains within it the state of imbalance. A pendulum in balance is ever moving. A broom balanced in the palm of your hand by the point of the stick is always out of balance. It requires thousands of little movements in your body transmitted to your hand to keep the weed on top. Just standing on two feet requires millions of nerve cells to fire. We are always falling, and we are always rising. That is balance.

So, don't be upset that you have harbored violent thoughts toward Bubba, or Osama or Hillary. Who wouldn't? And, perhaps they needed to learn that reality can dish them some self-respect, even if they wouldn't do it for themselves, Hmmm? *wicked smile*



sEa said...

ever the introspector... but always so astute. keep writing 'cause i'll keep reading.

meanwhile, how the heck are ya??

Nicole said...

Something tells me that right now you lead an interesting life, my friend! So deep runs the river within! How's tricks?